ashes and flames

in between the ashes and the flames

is a song that burns brighter

than radio waves

bout the remnants of my idols

and the shadow of my shame

about how they scatter like rain

and i can't stop crying

cause You won't stop calling my name

up from the ashes - John Mark McMillan

Ah. this song is always a breath of fresh air. ya know when you hear a song or maybe you see a painting or read a poem and you think "how did that singer, artist, writer just get into my head and steal my thoughts to sing, paint, write this" ?

cause that's what i think when i hear 99% of John Mark's stuff.
obviously it's because i'm human and i'm more similar to my fellow beings than i usually realize. we think we are so unique but obviously we experience the same things. obviously. if someone can write this and i can know exactly how he feels then clearly we are more alike than we think.

i thought i was the only one who had bawled their eyes out cause you live a life full of shame dedicated to idols and other crap. and you get so caught up in it that when you finally listen and He's calling your name and geez, you just can't stop crying.
my God is relentless.
my God waits outside my window and knocks on my door and when i finally let Him in - He invades me.
hallelujah.